INDIANAPOLIS -
The value of a visit with a loved one can be great, but it can also be frustrating. Especially if they no longer remember your name or relationship.
But experts say you should still visit anyway.
Camille Liberatos recently moved her aunt 20 minutes closer to her home. It means more time together.
"I would go maybe twice a week, but now that she is here, I am here almost every day," Liberatos said.
Her aunt, 79-year-old Dorothy Guido, has dementia.
"She sometimes won't remember if I am here one day and then I will come the next day and she will say, 'Where were you?' Even though I was here," Liberatos said.
Social workers at Maple Village in Westfield say sometimes comments like that and confusion discourage regular visits. But they key is concentrating on the patient, who may spend days anticipating your visit, or have an afterglow when you leave. They are moments and benefits you may never see.
"The more interaction they have with the family, the better they are," said Brandon Handshoe, a memory care facilitator.
For Dorothy, when everything is clicking, she talks about softball.
"I played third base. That is the hot corner, it's called the hot corner, because when they hit the ball, it's pretty close. It's not far, far away," she said.
Dorothy played on the east coast with Betty Trezza, a pro player said to have, in part, inspired the role of Betty Spaghetti in the movie, "A League Of Their Own." It was time on the diamond, time with teammates, that is Dorothy's lifetime love.
"I didn't get married...hell with it," she said.
Liberatos is proud of her aunt and her knack for telling it like it is, while still being kind. They are moments that matter and come and go without warning.
"They are still here, just because they have a diagnosis doesn't mean that their life is over," Handshoe said.
Experts also say proximity matters - the closer family is, the more often you are likely to visit.
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