13 WTHR - Indianapolis News |Soul Survivor

Soul Survivor

Anne Ryder/Eyewitness News

Parke County, Nov. 13 - On the deadliest night of her life, Betty Jane Spencer learned how to live one step, one breath, one moment at a time.

It was 26 years ago, just after midnight on Valentines Day 1977. An eternity, yesterday.

"I was there and believe me, I remember what happened."

It was a Charles Manson style slaughter, a thrill kill at a rural home in Parke County.

"Upon looking into the living room I could see four bodies lying face down on the floor with their hands behind their back." Four brothers shot execution style.

"From what I could see it appeared all the shots had entered the heads of the victims," except for one. A fifth victim, their mother was shot three times and scalped by a bullet that blew off her wig.

"They shot us all. But I wasn't dead."

Spencer played dead, then walked, bleeding, through the snow to get help.

"She came to the door, she woke me up saying, 'Come help me right quick. I've been shot."

In a span of 40 minutes she'd witnessed the murders of her son and three stepsons; 22-year-old Greg, Raymond, two days from his 18th birthday, 16-year-old Reeve and 14-year-old Ralph.

The killers were four petty criminals who took four lives at random for $40 and the thrill of it.

By Christmas they were all in custody and in court; Daniel Stonebraker, Michael Wright, David Smith and the ringleader, Roger Drollinger.

As the trials played out people packed the courthouse lawn to get a glimpse. Security was tight amid talk of vigilante justice.

Indiana had no death penalty then. The men got multiple life sentences.

The victim's father, Keith Spencer, had been at work during the murders. He was incredulous. "Child killers coming in and killing children for fun and still are alive. I can't believe this."

Stonebraker has these words for the Spencer family this Christmas, "I just hope they can put their lives back together and I hope they have a merry Christmas and I hope someday they can forgive me for the part I done in it."

Betty Jane Spencer remembers Daniel Stonebraker. She'd already been shot in the shoulder and back and lay motionless on the floor when she heard his voice. "One of them said, 'Shoot that second one again," and Stonebraker said, 'Which one?' And he said, 'The woman.' And I thought, 'Uh oh, here we go again.' And I said, 'God, don't let Keith find this. Thy will be done.'"

Spencer struggled with survivor's guilt and spent four years angry, her faith struggling. "Sometimes you just need to go to the woods and hit a tree with a stick. Scream a bit. I didn't feel I deserved to be alive, and I finally decided I did."

Two of the killers asked for clemency, early release. "I'm sorry for what I did and my participation in it. How much more can I take?"

Spencer testified on video and helped prevent it.

Spencer took her victim's rights crusade all the way to the White House. She helped establish and influence 56 laws.

Now at 70 she has a chronic fatal lung disease from years of smoking. Doctors tell her she has less than a year.

She dotes on her great nephew Greg, a namesake of her late son.

She has compiled hundreds of clippings and hopes people remember her when the men who killed her sons seek clemency again.

She walked the fine line between bitterness and forgiveness and claims neither one. "People think of forgiveness as, 'I forgive you, it's OK.' And it's not OK."

Betty Jane has picked a plot near her boys. If they lived, they'd be in their 40s by now. She believes they're waiting for her. "I learned two things that night. It took me longer to learn one of them. I learned I'm not afraId to die. But in time, I learned I wasn't afraid to live. Because it taught me that too."

Betty Jane Spencer says she is not bitter. It's important to her that people know that. But she is resolved that the killers not be granted clemency after she dies. They're not eligible for parole, but they can seek clemency.

She says her boys never got a second chance.

By the way, she says she's living like she has 10 more years, not months.